It is not so hard to believe that many people become activists because of their experiences in life and this website
is a form of activism that has been taken to help others who may have had or are having similar bad experiences.
This project started while the three founding members were on vacation in Puerto Rico. As we began
to talk, we realized a need to make others aware of what is going on so that the cycle can stop.
I, the main editor, am a
Bill Duke (American Gigolo, Car Wash, Commando, Predator, Action Jackson, etc...)
fan and last night I had the pleasure of watching a show that he produced which spoke of epidemics affecting our communities.
As I sat back, I realized that this is yet another detrimental epidemic that is destroying the fabric of the family's in
America and punishing one person while it took two people to create the child.
I pose this question to all of the female detractors who have stumbled upon this site.
Heirarchical System of Relevence
What if you were dating a man who had a child and after your relationship ended he sued you for
child support and won? Would this be fair? You know that the child is not yours and yet
you are being held financially responsible for this child?
What is the difference between this and a man being with a woman who has a child by
In a society where it is illegal to discriminate against a person because of his/her age, race, gender, or religion there
is a hierarchical system of importance. Whenever a person is forced to take responsibility for the actions of another and
his/her rights have been stripped to accommodate the needs of another, he/she is being treated less than fairly and are
thus treated as being less important than any of the parties actually involved. The child becomes more important, the mother
of that child becomes more important and the biological father of that child becomes more important and is allowed to spread
his seed with impunity. If you are paying for a child that is not yours, you have been reduced to the least significant member
of society in this hierarchical structure. Where are your rights? How can the state or government hold you accountable for
something that you did not do? You did not create the child and yet you can have wages garnished, lose your license, be jailed
and have your tax refund taken away. That is being held accountable!!!
DNA not enough in some states if child support already ordered
In many states, like New Jersey, a father is the person presented as the father, presents himself as the father,
believed to be the father by the child and was led to believe that he was the father by the mother.
States using DNA and what it means for the unjustly extorted victims
Even DNA may not be enough, in these states, to get the man out of paying for a child that he is not biologically responsible for creating
if he is not the biological father. So, one could conclude that a woman in New Jersey, prior to DNA, could accuse any affluent male of
being the parent of her child and he would have to pay her child support. There are also milk man laws there that state that a man married
to a woman when a child is born is the father of that child even if DNA proves otherwise. Ouch...again!!!!
You have to go to court to fight this situation. Make sure that you have a good lawyer.
Things are more progressive in states such as Georgia, where a man is made to pay or relieved from paying based on DNA.
Georgia has just passed a law in which the income of the custodial parent is considered when deciding the non-custodial parent's
child support, which has many women scrambling to make agreements with the men they have been taking advantage of, before the
support amount is contested and reduced in court. Many women complain that it will force them to live in smaller houses, but aren't
they simply trying to justify living beyond their means so that the non-custodial parent has to help them and in turn live in squalor.
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Civil agreements, not the norm
There are many couples who have made amicable splits and have made personal agreements on support and taking care of their children.
These couples should be congratulated because they are able to be the true adults that children need involved in their lives and who have
chosen to rise above the nonsense and do what is right for all parties involved. It would almost seem like these people loved one another
at a previous point in time. Even these agreements can be tentative if one of the parents meets someone who he/she allows to meddle
in the arrangement.
The circumstance for many men who are non-custodial parents
Unfortunately, there are many couples who have not made amicable splits and many individuals who never meant to be anything more than
part time lovers who are now parents.
For those who split with differences, the vindictive custodial parent is concerned with little
else besides making the non-custodial parent suffer. This manifests itself in the form of relentlessly going after the non-custodial parent's money.
For those who had a booty call go wrong there is nothing good to report because you have just been used as a retirement account.
That woman may have been setting you up from the very start. You can never be certain and the shadow of doubt will be riding your shoulder for the
entire time that you are making child support payments.
Can you imagine how upset you would be to find out that the child that you are being forced to support is not even your child?
What man is going to involve himself in the life of an estranged child that he has found out is not his? That is just too weird!
How awkward would you feel as a man who had to pay for a child that is not yours biologically and what rights do you have concerning this
woman's child to whom you are not biologically related?
Interestingly enough, while 22% of non-custodial men fail to pay child support, 40% of
non-custodial women fail to pay child support. This obviously is not a case of biological responsibility.