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What to do...
 

What can you do to avoid getting her pregnant?

  • Trust yourself and no one else who hasn't demonstrated a record of being trustworthy.
  • Take responsibility for using birth control yourself!
  • Wear a condom!!
  • Withdraw before culmination!!! (Pull out before you ejaculate)
  • Write up a good faith contract and both of you sign it with terms and conditions.

What can you do after getting her pregnant?

  • Be a man...don't panic...keep your cool.
  • Talk about the responsibility of raising a child.
  • Talk about the sacrifices necessary to properly raise a child.
  • Talk about the pre-pregnancy agreements or good faith contract.
  • Treat her respectfully. This is the person you slept with. Kindness is highly regarded while rudeness begets rudeness.
  • Pray. Don't laugh...it works.

What can you do after having a child?

  1. First, ensure that the child is yours. In some states this is your responsibility and you only have a few years to establish this before becoming financially liable for the child by the court.
    • Get a DNA test. Did you know that 1 in 3 children are being supported by a man who is not the biological father? Having a DNA test performed does not make you less of a gentleman. She knows that the baby came out of her; can you say the same without DNA proof? If she has nothing to hide about the child's paternity she should not be offended by your request for certainty.
    • If the child is not yours, make sure that you have records of this and if you plan on remaining with her be sure that she identifies the biological father early and seeks him out to get to know his child and help support his child.
    • If you don't plan on remaining with her, ensure that you have proof that you are not the child's father and do not act in a fatherly manner toward that child.
  2. If the child is yours
    • Be a man...love your child...take care of your child.
    • Do things with your child. Play games, walk, run, talk, read, watch TV or anything else you can do together.
    • Ask your child what your child needs.
    • Talk to your child's mother about what she thinks your child needs.
    • Ask your child what he/she wants to do.
    • Talk to your child's mother about what your child wants to do.
    • Talk about the child and let the relationship remain a thing of the past.
    • Stay focused. Many men try to get back with their child's mother and when that fails they don't pursue a relationship with the child. Don't do this. If you pursue a relationship with the mother keep that separate from the relationship that you pursue with your child.
    • Stay focused. By the same token, many women try to get back with their child's father and when that fails they become hateful and vindictive. Don't let this happen. If you pursue a relationship with the mother make an agreement that the two of you will keep that separate from the relationship that you have with your child and that the child will not be used as a pawn against the other parent. If you cannot agree to this, do what is in the best interest of the child, first.
    • Treat her respectfully, if possible. Respect is the foundation of any relationship. As this person is the mother of your child, you should treat her respectfully until she proves that this is no longer possible. Some adult females may make this impossible but fighting with her will simply motivate her to attack you where you are vulnerable and that is in your wallet.

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